“You can’t cross a chasm in two small jumps.”
– Sir Edmund Hillary
It occurred to me the other day as I looked for a way to celebrate a milestone birthday that, it is time. There is no point in waiting. If anything, waiting will make it worse. The closer I get to retiring and all the logistics surrounding that time of my life, the less able I will be to begin the learning I will need to express my creativity. What on earth does that mean?
For a long time, a decade or more, I’ve wanted to establish a creative practice involving various art supplies, paper, and textiles mixed with drawing, collage and needle work. Lots of different elements coming together in journals, sketch books and perhaps even one day some framed pieces.
10-years ago, I salvaged the art supplies coming home from my kids at the end of the school year. I added a few new purchases and began a practice, half-heartedly. My idea was right and I was inspired, but I did not have the time or patience to learn new techniques. Sure, I watched a few videos online and created a few pages in a sketch book.
The reality was that I was too busy. Or that is what I told myself then and every year in between. As my living circumstances changed profoundly a couple of times over the intervening years, my art supplies became less and less. Until now, my stash of stuff is almost non-existent. I even seem to have gotten rid of all the paper I once had. I’m not at all sure why I gave away everything during the last move. I’m still hoping there is a box in our storage locker with these misplaced treasures. But, not likely.
Giving up reasonable hope that a fictional box of goodies thousands of kilometers away will actually turn out to exist, I decided to treat myself for my birthday. First, I found an online course. My work schedule is still too intense to commit to IRL attendance. Then I went out and bought as many supplies as I could locally. Once I began the course I wanted a bunch of books from the reading list. Thankfully most of them were available at a domestic online bookstore. Finally, I only had to do one small order from Amazon.
With supplies assembled, I have begun my journey. What a birthday gift I have given myself! This big birthday will be enjoyed in a rather quiet way, plodding away with my art classes, reading, practising and learning. My family is busy with other commitments, but I am secretly very happy. They wouldn’t believe me if I told them, but I can’t think of anything more enjoyable than quiet time, all by myself, learning. I’ll provision with easy to prepare meals so I can maximize every moment.
The reason I think this is so important to start now, before retiring, is to make the transition easier. Not to mention getting set-up has been a little expensive! By starting now, I can get a little practice in and improve. My style is basic and my techniques are primitive. My children created better art during primary school than I am doing now. I have their pieces framed on my walls, I’m not remembering them as being better than they actually were. But that is OK. I will improve.
I’m actually recovering something about myself that I left behind long ago. I stopped making art as a child. I gave up being creative in order to act like I was older than I was. I wanted to be taken seriously. I wanted to do things that were associated with serious people. Somehow, I had deemed that arts and crafts were what people did who were not out in the world making money. Along with art, there was no singing or dancing for me. I followed patterns in sewing and recipes in cooking. But because I was not trained in either of those activities, it took a long time to learn and become proficient.
As the days and weeks go by slowly, now I have something new and exciting to let my mind wander to. This is essential. My work has been an all-encompassing endeavor for me. I’ve taken a couple of little breaks over the years trying to gain perspective, but I can’t manage to stay balanced for long. I always tip back to full-on work. I think about it all the time. I dream about it. It is the last thing I worry about at night and after a fitful sleep it is the first thing on my mind in the morning. Other than having the new worry of a global trade war, I cannot get my mind moving in new directions, especially positive ones.
Something is happening already with my art practice. I made an iced tea type of drink called Agua de Jamaica with dried hibiscus flowers. Once the flowers were strained, I thought it might be a good idea to place them on a sheet of white paper to ‘stain’ the paper. I just wanted to see what would happen and the results were fantastic! Then I started to wonder what other colors I could transfer to paper from ingredients in my kitchen. I had never thought about this before, which is crazy because I cook a lot. Some little tendrils of creativity are springing up for me. This will only increase as the intensity of my practice picks up. One day soon, I might wake up thinking about art, instead of work!
That is why I am doing this. I want to give myself over to this new way of being and thinking so my life can improve now and not have to wait. While it might be a little easier to take on an intense new learning regime once I am retired, I’m not convinced waiting is the way to go. I might experience a little frustration at not having enough time to practice my art now, while I am still working. But, I could always give up a little TV watching time!
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