“Expect the best. Prepare for the worst. Capitalize on what comes.” – Zig Ziglar
It is curious to think about how quickly we adapt to just about anything over time. When we were young, the quest to make plans for the weekend was of utmost importance all week long. As the days rolled by our expectations shifted depending on what was brewing in our social circle. Were we going to a party, were we having a party, or were we going to be stuck reading a book? No matter what, we rolled with the punches.
As we age the stakes get higher. The biggest worry is not what we are going to do on the weekend, we struggle to just get through the week. Life seems so much busier and everything seems riddled with stress. The stakes are somehow high on most decisions. A large budget item has missed the yearly cycle and a child needs full time attention when you don’t have it to give. A parent needs support who lives far away and the hot water tank just conked out. The cost of living seems to have crept up to an unmanageable level and what we used to take for granted now seems like a luxury at the grocery store. On and on it goes.
Some days it feels like we are managing problems and issues all day long, one after the other. A steady barrage of inputs that feel far from ideal. We wonder how we could have better prepared for this reality? When do we get to capitalize on a good thing when the world keeps firing shots our way? It can seem rather bleak, quite frankly. But, does it have to stay this way? Do we have choices for how we can view what is going on in our lives and the world at large?
Part of the problem is the way we tend to treat all aspects of life with zero-sum thinking. It is not surprising this happens when the news at the top of every moment underscores who is winning and who is losing as if it were a zero-sum game. Economics is grounded in zero-sum theory. Someone wins and someone loses. Numbers shift from one column to the next. Budgets must be balanced. However, humans and the natural world we are a part of, are not an economic system. We must step outside of the chaos of the constant drip of bad news and ground ourselves in the real, (natural), world.
It goes without saying that the task of getting our thoughts back to some kind of logic is a tall order. Modern life is stressing our abilities to make sense of the world. How can we truly step aside and quiet the chaos of thoughts in our minds? What are the touchstones people use to come back to themselves and their values? How can we stop blaming each other for every little thing that is not perfect about our lives, (particularly in comparison to others)? How can we cast our gaze at the billions of people on earth who are suffering in a profound way and be thankful for everything we already have?
Maybe we don’t have to look towards people we have nothing in common with. Maybe we can strive toward being ‘good ancestors,’ building a world that those born many generations hence can enjoy. How often do any of us stop to recognize, consciously or not, the sacrifices our ancestors made for us? If we took up this practice, just a little, we might question how we are acting here and now. Or even closer to home, how would we want our future selves to look back at this moment in time? Would your future self ask you to take a beat, calm down, bring your heart rate back into the normal range and think logically about what to do or say next?
Sure, we might not live long enough to enjoy the fruits of our labours today. Nelson Henderson has been quoted as saying, “The true meaning of life is to plant trees, under whose shade you do not expect to sit.” How many of us are out there planting those kinds of trees? Are we ready to make those kinds of emotional investments in the future? Oddly, we seem incapable of making positive progress for tomorrow’s benefit, let alone next week, next year or the distant future.
Which brings the discussion back to the big picture or the long view. Perhaps by putting ourselves into the frame of the future, we can resist engaging in the harmful discourse of the current moment. What is good for us now is, not to show up to every fight and recognize that actually, we probably were not invited in the first place. By that line of thinking we need to look at every piece of possible information we might consume and question what we are going to do with it. If it will add to a bigger idea or thought we are having that improves our situation or that of our world, then yes – bring it on! But if we are feeding a negative monster in our mind, then we must turn away. This is not a train wreck that we can gain knowledge from, this is just more misery.
My Dad used to say, “a little knowledge is dangerous”. He said that to caution my youthful confidence that was often not grounded in a full study of the topic at hand. I knew what he meant but I had never researched the full context of the phrase. Ironic, I know. The quote is from British writer Alexander Pope’s poem, ‘An Essay on Criticism’, written in 1709.
“A little learning is a dang’rous thing;
Drink deep, or taste not the Pierian spring:
There shallow draughts intoxicate the brain,
And drinking largely sobers us again.”
I love the subtle way this portion of the poem suggests that a partial or incomplete understanding of a subject can be more harmful than no knowledge at all, as it can lead to overconfidence and poor judgment. My Dad was bringing this to my attention the 1980’s and look what the world has come to in 2025! But maybe over the last three hundred and sixteen years since the publication of this poem, there have been other times when people seemed to act without enough knowledge.
In any case, society is where it is and we have to deal with these cards that have been dealt. In a world with media that seems to be trying to create discord rather than harmony, keeping an eye on the big picture is ever more difficult. This is a fact, but it does not have to be the truth. For example, I know that when I embrace the best parts of my current life and minimize the parts that are still challenging, I feel better. When I feel better in the moment, the future feels more optimistic. I don’t have any facts to say why I feel this way, I just do. I don’t need a list of reasons for why the future feels optimistic. I only need a little confidence that things tend to work out in the end.
Movies should not be a source of information for how to live your best life in practical terms, but they can sure help with confidence. One of my favourites for this is thanks to the hotel manager Patel, of ‘The Best Exotic Marigold Hotel’, when he said, “Everything will be all right in the end. If it’s not all right, it is not yet the end”. This has reminded me of times of uncertainty in my life which coincided with big transitions. Graduating from high school, taking on full-time work and moving out of my parents’ home was a heady time. I had no idea how to do any of that when I was still slogging through my grade 12 classes. I only had an idea I would figure it out and it would be all right in the end. That turned out to be true.
As I think about the retirement transition then, maybe I have done a little too much planning for my own good. Maybe I have just a little too much information about how things might look and not enough confidence that it will be all right. I cannot predict anything which involves factors and actors outside of my control. I can keep as many of my options open and make limiting decisions when the time is right. Until then I need to think like the manager of the hotel and have confidence that everything will be all right in the end.
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