Say what you will about me after I’m gone – but I will never dread Monday’s again. -unknown
On particularly bad days, or weeks, (or months), at my corporate job, I find myself fantasizing about giving notice of retirement. Some person does or says something, directed at me and I take the shot without a word. My boss responds in a way that I fundamentally disagree with, no-one is harmed but me, I take it without a word. I am faced with the truth that the industry my corporate job operates in, is not aligned with my values anyone. As these facts pile up in the back of my mind, I tally up the reasons why I will not be convinced by anyone to stay in my job longer than my planned retirement date.
This discussion I’m having with myself is a bit strange. After all who will try to convince me to stay? Out of respect for my decision to retire, (a lifetime decision not taken lightly), my company will let me go professionally, I’m sure of it. I’m not quitting, I’m retiring. However, there is the matter that I am retiring early. While many people would love to retire at this age, most will not be able to afford it. My husband and I got lucky with a series of timing related decisions in the last 6-years, compounded with rather frugal spending.
On one hand, I am wrestling with reasons why I can’t stand to work at this stinking job any longer. Not one more minute. Take this job and shove it, I think with outrage. But I will never say these things to anyone except a couple of close friends and my husband. On the other hand, I am retiring. There need not be any drama related to this action. I’m at the end of a long corporate career in a specific role that I have been an expert individual contributor and leader. This is something to be proud of!
Why do I feel like I need a reason to retire? Why do I feel like I need answers to imaginary questions at the ready? What if, (and this is highly likely), no-one says anything? I’ll have been with my current employer less than 2-years when I give my notice of retirement. Many people in other departments I have not met yet, and likely never will. It is not like there will be a retirement party or anything. For most people I will be that person who they faintly remember being on the scene for a while.
For the people I work closely with, this may not come as a surprise. I’ve had a long career and I have a vast amount of experience to share. Those people will be sad to see me go. There will not be huge showing of emotion, it is not our way. These people I am close to are the ones I care about, my team. If I stop for a moment and think about that, it is even more strange that I am thinking of reasons why I can’t stand to be at my job any longer. Why is there a battle going on in my mind? I care deeply about my team members and want to do right for them.
Maybe I’m preparing for a separation anxiety. Or is that the wrong phrase? Retiring will not leave me anxious. Saying goodbye to the people I care about will be sad, for sure. Being a leader of a large team makes this transition even more difficult. I’ll worry about their well-being. I wonder if I am trying to protect myself and the inevitable feelings of sadness that I will have when my announcement is made? I wonder if I’m making up all kinds of reasons I am leaving in order to steady my resolve?
If you google humorous retirement messages, a whole bunch of funny laced with a dose of mean quotes will come up. Messages from people who are leaving to the people left behind that are phrased in such a way as to be funny, but also filled with a certain kind of vitriol. The more lighthearted ones I relate to. But I’ve never in my life felt as bad as some of these quotes convey. But, walk a mile in someone else’s shoes, I guess.
I was drawn to the quote which posed that work is somehow equitable to a hostage situation. There was a time, at a former company when a bunch of us would be called to a sales meeting, far from home. These affairs would consume at least a week and involve international flights and bus rides taking about 20 hours on either end of the trip. In the early hours of the last day, our fearless leader would mention that “the hostage crisis is nearly over, the choppers are in the air for our rescue”. That meant hang on, we are nearly on our way home and this thing is just about done with. Put in context of a career:
The ongoing hostage situation (which I refer to as a career) has finally come to an end as I hereby announce my retirement/escape. -unknown
I’ve got an odd sense of humor because the idea that my corporate career has been one long hostage situation and it is soon to be over seems quite funny! Maybe I can feel that way when I am so close to the end. And by close, that means 453 days from now. A mere 3.6% of days left to go until I drive off into the sunset!
To those of you remaining, “May the odds ever be in your favor.” -unknown
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